i love to drink, smoke, and shit. 'perfect' can not describe the trifecta that is these three acts. i'm only human. but as i continue to grow old it's gotten harder to suck the day's dick on a perpetual basis. therefore, my colleagues and i are going to cleanse our bodies, giving up food, drink, and cigarettes, but getting the chance to shit our brains out.
and so it is, we'll attempt to do the master cleanse/lemonade diet. i did it once a couple years ago and felt pretty good afterward. plus all you spend your money on is the ingredients:
- 2 Tablespoons Fresh Lemon Juice
- 2 Tablespoons Rich Maple Syrup
- 1/10 Teaspoon Cayenne Pepper Powder – or to taste (as much as you can stand)
- 8 ounces (250 milliliters of Pure Water
also there's a laxative tea and a salt water flush. you might be asking, "well why is it called a flush?" basically because the salt water causes your insides to act similarly to a household toilet, with the salt pushing out everything that's been filling your innards. lotsapoop.
so feel free to enjoy the miserable ride that will shortly ensue. updates, photos, betting, it'll be great.
it's going to be a long road with no brass monkeys.
